TOP GUN A valentine to military hardware and male bonding, ‘Top Gun’ has a rudimentary plot and laughable dialogue, but who cares? It’s all about the awesome F-14 fighter jets, which gleam almost as brightly as Tom Cruise’s grin. Like most Cruise movies, this one’s all about his character working out his daddy issues, but still, his swaggering Maverick gives us Cruise at his cockiest. He’s a walking Navy recruitment poster, and he’ll satisfy your need… your need for speed.

SPEED It just shouldn’t have worked. But it does. Keanu Reeves at his least wooden and a plucky Sandra Bullock (in the role that made her a star) versus villain Dennis Hopper makes for a fittingly explosive combination.

DIE HARD The granddaddy of all latter-day action films, with its much-imitated hostages-in-an-unlikely-place plot. Fourtrillion explosions and several phoneboxes worth ofshattered glass makes the film seem more extravagant than it really is, but who cares when it’s this much fun?

Die Hard is also a perfect example of how performance can be essential to action flicks, making both hero Bruce Willis and villain Alan Rickman into instant movie stars.

INDIANA JONES AND THE RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Because of its instantly iconic hero, its two hours of nonstop forward momentum, its clever updating of stock adventure clichés (like when an impatient Indy dispatches a swordsman by shooting him), its hard-drinking heroine (we like her), and its endless inventiveness and creativity, we think Raiders is probably the best action movie ever made. Fullstop.

THE MATRIX The most influential action movie of the digital era, period. Yeah so bullet time rapidly became a cliche and the ‘wire fu’ now looks kinda dated, but it’s an action film that really makes you think and for that we heart it. As Keanu Reeves’ Neo so elegantly put it, “Whoa.”

The Raid is out now. Here’s the trailer:

But just what is this Film Club malarkey all about? It’s simples, really. Each week we send a pair of cinema tix (ODEON or Cineworld, whichever is best) to 10 of our most active Facebook/Twitter followers. We put the film we’re going to see to the vote, and the winning film is the one we all go to see. Then we all sit around on Facebook on the Sunday night (6.30) and chat about it. Magic. Sound like something you want to get involved with? Drop us a line at twitter.com/f_t_r_c or on Facebook at on.fb.me/d4dMv8

Apparently it’s about two women, played by Noomi Rapace and Rachel McAdams, who get caught up in the seedy side of international business. Power struggles, murder, seduction and (uf the stills are anything to go by) lots of lady-action.

The trailer will apparently screen at Cannes this week. Wonder if it’s as suggestive as the poster…

Doco director Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me) has teamed up with funny dudes Jason Bateman and Will Arnett to explore modern manliness. In the hot tub. While getting a facial.

Mansome (for that is what it’s called…) also features Paul Rudd and Zach Galifianakis – so guaranteed good times ahoy!

Just as ignorant as we were? Here’s a synopsis:

Martin Blake (Orlando Bloom) is an ambitious but anxious young doctor, eager to impress his superiors and colleagues: Chief Resident Waylans (Rob Morrow), self-assured fellow intern Dan (Troy Garity) and no-nonsense nurse Theresa (Taraji P. Henson). But things are not going Martin’s way and he can’t seem to shake off his insecurities. When 18-year-old patient Diane (Riley Keough) is admitted for a kidney infection, Martin steps in, getting the much-needed boost of self-esteem he craves. But things take a dark turn as his enthusiasm begins to become an obsession.

The Good Doctor also stars Riley Keough and Taraji P Henson. No UK release date has been set.

‘The Amazing who…?’ we hear you ask. Pfff, likely story. By now we suspect there’s nary a person in the western world who isn’t knowledged up on the film.

But just in case…

The Amazing Spider-Man is the story of Peter Parker (Garfield), an outcast high schooler who was abandoned by his parents as a boy, leaving him to be raised by his Uncle Ben (Sheen) and Aunt May (Field). Like most teenagers, Peter is trying to figure out who he is and how he got to be the person he is today. Peter is also finding his way with his first high school crush, Gwen Stacy (Stone), and together, they struggle with love, commitment, and secrets. As Peter discovers a mysterious briefcase that belonged to his father, he begins a quest to understand his parents’ disappearance – leading him directly to Oscorp and the lab of Dr. Curt Connors (Ifans), his father’s former partner. As Spider-Man is set on a collision course with Connors’ alter-ego, The Lizard, Peter will make life-altering choices to use his powers and shape his destiny to become a hero.

Starring real-life sweeties Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone as the web-slinging one and his amore, The Amazing Spider-Man is due on UK screens July 3.

In the meantime, enjoy the new preview, and four new posters via HeyUGuys.

Spoilers everywhere!

FIONA ‘While I didn’t think it was brilliant, it wasn’t as bad as the reviews had suggested. It’s too long and some of the jokes fall flat, but the wackiness and weirdness of Tim Burton’s imagination provides some interesting escapism. The jaunty soundtrack is a special bonus.’

‘I think it does works as a film, even though some of the characters get too little screen time. It’s a simple story and can easily fit into a feature length film.’

‘The cast were good. Eva Green was fantastic; she always plays villains really well, so delicious and devious. Johnny Depp was good if rather straight faced and he could have done more with the delivery of some of his lines. Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonny Lee Miller and Chloe Moretz were sadly underused though.’

ROSANNA ‘Well to me this film is a prime example of why you should *never* listen to the reviews… I really enjoyed it! If you’re expecting a ‘laugh out loud’ comedy, you’ll be disappointed. If you’re hoping for something dark, witty and quirky then, like me, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.’

‘A lot of people have complained that it was ‘style over substance’ but I disagree.’

‘And what an amazing cast! My favourite all-time actor (Depp) and actress (Pfeiffer) – so I was pretty excited about seeing them on screen together for the first time.’

JONATHAN ‘I actually quite liked it. I hadn’t read any reviews or anything beforehand, so had no idea what to expect beyond what I had seen in the trailers, but I have to say on the whole I enjoyed it.’

‘Visually It looked amazing, but then I guess we shouldn’t expect any less from Tim Burton. In terms of plot it did feel like there wasn’t a lot going on though.’

‘As for the cast, I don’t think you could really go wrong. Even if you’re fed up of yet another film with Depp and Carter working with Burton (which I’m not) there is no denying that they are great at what they do.’

LYNN ‘Sorry but I was a little disappointed with Dark Shadows. It was watchable but didn’t fire on all cylinders for me.’

‘I did enjoy the 70′s music. You can’t beat a bit of T. Rex and Alice Cooper!’

‘Never having seen the series I have nothing to compare the film with, but the premise worked well enough. It’s just a shame that all the best jokes were used in the trailer.’

CHRIS ‘It’s an OK movie. It’s better than Alice in Wonderland but lacks the magic of Burton’s earlier movies.’

‘I love Burton’s style but wish he would try something more original and tell a new tale.’

‘It just feels like the life has been drained from this movie.’

SCOTT ‘I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I have grown tired of Tim Burton’s quirky ways recently, but Dark Shadows could have been a lot worse.’

‘I am tired of Burton ALWAYS rebooting franchises though… I would love to see him do an original story.’

‘I am bored of Depp, period. I get it, he is quirky and weird, but I am so tired of it all. He does seem to throw himself into the roles he plays so I have to commend him on that, and this was no different. But this is the guy that turned a Rolling Stone into a pirate so I guess this is to be expected.’

‘The supporting cast were excellent, especially the Burton regulars Bonham Carter and Christopher Lee. I wasn’t too keen on Moretz, but that is my standard reaction to her. Once an actor goes on the naughty list it’s hard for them to get off… ask Keira Knightley!’

ZARINA ‘I’d come across quite a few reviews deeming Dark Shadows awful, I have an unexplainable dislike for Helena Bonham Carter and I didn’t enjoy Burton and Depp’s most recent ventures (Alice in Wonderland, Sweeney Todd), but this film spiked my interest because of its groovy popart styled posters and the fact it has Chloe Moretz in it. And I actually really liked it!’

‘It was visually stunning and imaginative and I very much enjoyed the strange storyline and characters. Over the top quirky, yes, but I just went along with the ride and loved being immersed into this wacky world for the better part of two hours.’

KATIE ‘I really liked this film! I was expecting it to be funnier and slightly sillier but nevertheless I thought it was great. Love when Depp and Burton get together!’

‘Eva Green was wicked, although her accent bugged me a bit. It seemed to go from French to American quite a lot – other than that she was good, and very sexy.’

BILL ‘I’ve not seen the TV show but it did feel like a soap omnibus, which is clearly what they were going for. I love Tim Burton and this was his best film in ages. I thought it was the best Danny Elfman score in a long time too.’

‘Depp and Burton are always great together, certainly Johnny delivers for Tim better than Wahlberg and McGregor did.’

‘Even when you take a below brilliant Burton movie it’s still tons better than everyone else’s efforts. I can honestly say if Burton filmed the opening of an envelope I would watch it.’

SUPERT ‘Tim Burton has a distinctive style. Long may it continue.’

LOUISE ‘I absolutely loved the film; it lived up to my expectations and more. I thought Johnny Depp was brilliant and really loved that he was a “classic” vampire!’

‘I thought the Moretz twist was a bit random, there was no indication it was going to happen and I think it was a bit pointless really. Before that I thought she was brilliant, she’s a great actress but the twist seemed a bit stupid.’

‘I really enjoyed it and the cast were fantastic. I thought it was very different to the usual vampire films that are so popular at the moment and a welcome change!’

CLAUD ‘Johnny Depp like we all love him! A remarkable performance, just perfect. Well done.’

Seeing the trailer for Dark Shadows sets you up for a screwball comedy. Don’t be fooled; you ain’t getting one. It’s funny, sure, but all-out hilarious it certainly isn’t.

There’s the odd joke but there’s also horror, family drama and a whole lot of A-listers jostling for attention. Weird, then, that not a whole lot happens until the last half hour – other than an overly-long explanatory monologue and the end of history’s longest nap.

Where it really works is in Depp’s Barnabas, a fish out of water in the most awesome sense. McDonalds as Mephistopheles? Fantastic. And as for his reaction to waffles…he’s the funniest monster we’ve seen on the big screen in a long time.

And he is a monster; there are no sparkly vegetarian vampires in Burton World. How refreshing to see some innocents getting their throats ripped out!

The supporting cast are pretty good too, but with so many of them no-one really gets a chance to shine apart from Eva Green, and we’d rather have seen more of Michelle Pfeiffer if we’re brutally honest. It’s not that Green doesn’t do a fabby job, she does; we’re just die hard Pfeiffer fangirls.

In related news, was Eva wearing the actual dress from Mars Attacks at the finale? An uncanny resemblance. There was what appeared to be a homage to Death Becomes Her at the end there too. Unexpected, but we enjoyed it all the same.

All in all, Dark Shadows is a mishmash of schlocky horror, serious drama and a smattering of ‘oh look, he doesn’t know what that is’ jokes. A hot mess, but still better than Alice in Wonderland. Onwards and upwards, TB.

But just what is this Film Club malarkey all about? It’s simples, really. Each week we send a pair of cinema tix (ODEON or Cineworld, whichever is best) to 10 of our most active Facebook/Twitter followers. We put the film we’re going to see to the vote, and the winning film is the one we all go to see. Then we all sit around on Facebook on the Sunday night (6.30) and chat about it. Magic. Sound like something you want to get involved with? Drop us a line at twitter.com/f_t_r_c or on Facebook at on.fb.me/d4dMv8

Or will your vote go to well-received Korean flick The Raid, already in line for a remake before it’s even been released? We guess we’ll have to wait and see…go vote!

But just what is this Film Club malarkey all about? It’s simples, really. Each week we send a pair of cinema tix (ODEON or Cineworld, whichever is best) to 10 of our most active Facebook/Twitter followers. We put the film we’re going to see to the vote, and the winning film is the one we all go to see. Then we all sit around on Facebook on the Sunday night (6.30) and chat about it. Magic. Sound like something you want to get involved with? Drop us a line at twitter.com/f_t_r_c or on Facebook at on.fb.me/d4dMv8

The film sees Colin Farrell take on the role made famous by Arnold ‘The Governator’ Schwarzenegger nigh on 20 years ago. You may recall (arf) the full trailer was released only last month.

Total Recall take two also stars Kate Beckinsale (Wiseman’s wifey), Ethan Hawke, Jessica Biel, Bill Nighy and John Cho.

The film’s UK release is scheduled for August 22nd.

Here’s the synopsis:

Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

And now for the stills:

Just what is going on here? Let’s see if a plot synopsis can shed some light…

Director David Cronenberg adapts author Don DeLillo’s novel about a Manhattan billionaire (Robert Pattinson) who finds his quest to get a haircut from his father’s old barber complicated by the presidential motorcade, a gang of violent anarchists, and a funeral procession for a famous hip-hop star. Meanwhile, the wealthy 28-year-old’s vast fortune rests on the value of the yen, which he continually monitors from the comfort of his stretch limo

Yup, makes very little sense to us either. Guess we’ll have to wait until Cosmopolis hits cinemas to find out…

Or ‘an alien in human form’ apparently. Phew, here we were thinking that maybe they should have upped their costume budget a little.

Glazer’s previous efforts were Sexy Beast and Birth, so we have high hopes for Under The Skin.

Here’s the still…