Film Club checks out Storage 24
Noel Clarke attempts to bust out of his ‘urban’ mould with this week’s Film Club pick Storage 24. But did he succeed? Err….
(spoilers ahead)
CHRIS ‘Derivative, clichéd, unoriginal, slow and worst of all NOT scary.’
‘Definitely not a horror film, more monster comedy. (well I laughed…uncomfortably.)’
‘You can obviously see that Noel Clarke is trying to make a more varied name for himself. I think he may have done his reputation more harm than good though…It’s as if he read a book called “Monster Movies For Dummies.”’
‘Certainly the effects weren’t all shabby but more money or a more low-key attempt may have made things better. Or perhaps not.’
‘On a more general note, it really tires me when films end with a scene that blatantly suggests a sequel. If a film is good enough it WILL get one, even if it seems impossible from how the first one ends.’
ROSANNA I’m always supportive of the British film industry and I’m always excited to see what Noel Clarke has up his sleeve, but I can’t help but feel disappointed by this film. I was expecting more. A lot more.’
‘It was definitely slow. The longest 87 minutes ever!’
‘The press calling it a ‘horror flick’ is way off the mark. It was tense at times but never anywhere near scary. The clunky dialogue and wooden acting (especially, surprisingly by Noel Clarke) didn’t help.’
‘It feels like one long episode of Doctor Who. To me it really felt like a low-budget made-for-TV-movie, which is not what I want when I settle down in front of the big screen.’
‘It seemed to have an identity crisis. Was it trying to be a horror or a piss-take? When they sent the toy dog down the corridor with the fireworks strapped to its back – I think I settled on the latter.’
‘I thought the alien looked OK though for a small-budget effort. I’m desperately looking for something positive to say…’
JAMES ‘I came into it expecting a timid and dreadful 90 minutes but came out rather satisfied. Thought it contained enough tension to keep things interesting. (Director) Johannes Roberts kept the tension up well and used his surroundings to good effect.’
‘However, it was let down by poor scripting and less-than-interesting characters.’
‘I thought Clarke was OK and enjoyed the cameos from the facility worker and crazy old man, they provided the laughs.’
‘It was definitely too predictable. The script needed a lot of work and the characters were nothing more than lifeless pawns. It says a lot when the smaller roles are the most entertaining.’
SUZAN ‘The best thing about this film was finding hot Irish actor Colin o’Donoghue!’
‘It reminded me of watching film studies movies at the end of term, only longer. Actually I think I’ve seen better student videos that made more sense.’
‘Noel’s first film this year is better and at least you left the cinema happy and pumped – this was just depressing. I would say it’s a strange choice for him, I expected better.’
BILL ‘It’s a low budget B movie, it was watchable and I was entertained.’
‘The biggest problem with this film is that it’s been done before – and better.’
MEGAN ‘What a waste of 90 mins of cinema time. The only redeeming moment was when they strapped the fireworks to the toy dog!’
‘I was so bored. It felt like a film graduate’s first feature, done badly.’
It’s like Eastenders made an Alien tribute episode. No, really.
Starting out with a convenient plane crash that looks like it might actually be quite fun (cue alien entrance), we’re then subjected to one of the most convoluted setups we’ve seen all year as freshly-dumped Noel Clarke heads to a lockup to pick up his ex-lady’s stuff. He wants her back, and all that. But why have they taken a bunch of mates with them? Would the movie not be as exciting if the tentacle-fingered menace only had two hot young’uns to bump off?
Shame, then, that even with the extra bodybag-bound cast members this film still can’t manage a decent scare – why it’s been tagged as a horror movie is baffling. Don’t even get us started on the Alien comparisons…a vaguely similar looking baddie does not a sci-fi classic make.
This is the sort of movie that doesn’t know whether it’s playing for laughs or scares. Naturally, it gets neither. Not only that, but the characters were so cardboard it got to the point where we were actually cheering their not-remotely-grisly death scenes. Their motivations are daft and, to be honest, most of them just aren’t very nice. Oh dear oh dear…
If we had to write a one word review of Storage 24 it would be this: Soporific. Apart from that last scene…except we’re pretty sure we weren’t actually supposed to laugh.
But just what is this Film Club malarkey all about? It’s simples, really. Each week we send a pair of cinema tix (ODEON or Cineworld, whichever is best) to 10 of our most active Facebook/Twitter followers. We put the film we’re going to see to the vote, and the winning film is the one we all go to see. Then we all sit around on Facebook on the Sunday night (6.30) and chat about it. Magic. Sound like something you want to get involved with? Drop us a line at twitter.com/f_t_r_c or on Facebook at on.fb.me/d4dMv8
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