Green Lantern is the Film Club Pick of the Week! We thought we’d mark the occasion – and star Ryan Reynolds – by having a gander at all the borderline dodgy, cringetastic and downright awful stuff he made back in the days before he was A-List.
Now we know that really famous film types don’t become megastars overnight. We do. And we know that Ryan probably only made Serving in Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story for the dollars. But what the hell, we’re going to rake up his shady past anyway.
SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH (THE MOVIE) That’s right, folks. That really is Ryan Reynolds, aged 19, playing the out-of-her-league love interest in the Sabrina the Teenage Witch movie. They made him wear a blonde perm! And one of those heinous wooden bead necklace things that should serve no purpose other than to be burned. Eurgh. Oh, and his character is basically a jerk. He did get to flex his acting muscles, though – he had to keep a straight face while Melissa Joan Hart wore half a tree on her head for their on-screen date. Kudos.
The worst thing about all this? They didn’t even bring him back for the TV show. Rejected!
TWO GUYS, A GIRL AND A PIZZA PLACE First off, what on earth is with this title? Couldn’t they have called it something snazzier? Pepperoni Dreams has a nice ring to it.
Unsurprisingly, this TV show was about three flatmates (guess how many are guys) who work at a pizza place. What is surprising is that it was actually kind of good. In a 90s kind of way. Ryan played a dude called Berg (yes, really – there’s also a character called Germ) who, despite being a medical student, is utterly daft and spends four seasons causing chaos. While looking pretty, obvs.
Fact: Ryan once hoofed it around Boston looking for the pizza place he worked in for this show. He didn’t realise it doesn’t actually exist.
VAN WILDER: PARTY LIAISON Now we can imagine that this one was probs fun to shoot – there are a lot of parties in it – but lordy, do we think it’s awful. Coming out of TGAGAAPP Ry decided to flex his comic chops that bit further and make this flick. No, we don’t know what he was thinking either.
The basic gist is that Van doesn’t want to finish college so he becomes a professional razzer and party thrower. Not only does he not have to grow up and get a real job, all the Cool Kids on Campus think he’s awesome to boot. Score! Pity it’s just chockablock with puerile jokes and Tara Reid (pre wonky boob job, thankfully) flashing her cleavage. And it even has sequels!
Luckily for his career, Ryan knew even back then that Van Wilder 2 was a terrible idea. Hence why he isn’t in it.
SCHOOL OF LIFE Never heard of this one? Be grateful. Actually made in 2005 – ie not that long ago – it’s a TV movie about teachers competing for a school prize. Mr D (aka Ryan Reynolds) is the perfect teacher who the other guy wants to take down. So far, so simple…but wait! There’s a twist. A big one. And then we’re into the realm of cutesy life revelations and more schmaltz than we know what to do with. Yawnsville.
Thankfully after this Ryan realised that some of his movie choices had been, well, unwise and started making slightly better ones. Huzzah!
One more embarrassing Reynolds factoid? Oh, go on then. His middle name is Rodney. What were his parents playing at?
Green Lantern is in cinemas from today. Check out the trailer:
But just what is this Film Club malarkey all about? It’s simples, really. Each week we send a pair of cinema tix (ODEON or Cineworld, whichever is best) to 10 of our most active Facebook/Twitter followers. We put the film we’re going to see to the vote, and the winning film is the one we all go to see. Then we all sit around on Facebook on the Sunday night (6.30) and chat about it. Magic. Sound like something you want to get involved with? Drop us a line at twitter.com/f_t_r_c or on Facebook at on.fb.me/d4dMv8
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